Murphy
Murphy Reader
10/2/17 9:29 a.m.

Maserati paperweight

Just loved this ad.

dculberson
dculberson PowerDork
10/2/17 9:36 a.m.

Why is it that after reading that ad, I want to buy that car? I am not a well person.

KyAllroad
KyAllroad PowerDork
10/2/17 9:37 a.m.

oooh, that's just painful.  Well written though, maybe some car magazine somewhere can pay this guy a few bucks to write about the pain of Maserati ownership to help ease the financial burden.

Tyler H
Tyler H GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
10/2/17 9:41 a.m.
dculberson said:

Why is it that after reading that ad, I want to buy that car? I am not a well person.

Because a testament to quality is that the gauges don't zero out when it is sitting dead as a rock?   Or is that shot to prove that it moves under it's own power?  In neutral down a hill?

Dogote
Dogote New Reader
10/2/17 9:48 a.m.

In reply to Tyler H :

Italian helicopters do that same thing with some gauges. Drives me nuts. As soon as power is on, they go to zero.

SaltyDog
SaltyDog New Reader
10/2/17 9:55 a.m.

Are Italian helicopters more reliable than Italian cars? Hope so...... 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ UltraDork
10/2/17 10:14 a.m.

In reply to SaltyDog :

He was posting from an Italian helicopter, so I presume he's dead.

RossD
RossD MegaDork
10/2/17 10:42 a.m.

Italian helicopters are as reliable as gravity. Oh, wait.

914Driver
914Driver MegaDork
10/2/17 10:48 a.m.

See the Title status?  Can he legally sell it?

dculberson
dculberson PowerDork
10/2/17 10:49 a.m.

In reply to 914Driver :

I'm sure he just has a loan on it which means he'll have to pay it off to get clear title as part of the sales process.

akylekoz
akylekoz HalfDork
10/3/17 6:11 a.m.

A Coyote or LS can make nice noises reliably and may fit in that body.  I looks good except for those honda prelude rear.  

chandler
chandler PowerDork
10/3/17 6:19 a.m.

When I bought my E55 they had a row of these in the same warehouse that they were trying to unload at $42k. They were new but he said they were such junk that they took them off of the lot, i think the 06 and up were considerably better.

 

edit: I bought a boxster from them a year later and those were all still there, maybe they still are.

Dogote
Dogote New Reader
10/3/17 10:09 a.m.
RossD said:

Italian helicopters are as reliable as gravity. Oh, wait.

I will use that line next time the Agusta A119 catches the pilots boots on fire.

Cactus
Cactus Reader
10/3/17 12:34 p.m.

I could put up with Ferrari engine maintenance. I'd have to buy some books and tools, but that's doable. Think you could fit a t56 or similar in there?

RossD
RossD MegaDork
10/3/17 12:49 p.m.

In reply to Cactus :

How hard could it be?!?!?

Tony Sestito
Tony Sestito PowerDork
10/3/17 3:55 p.m.

You had me at Italian Money Toilet. 

pres589
pres589 PowerDork
10/3/17 5:37 p.m.

I was thinking the same thing; if the engine management could be faked out properly, some flavor of T-5 should work in this thing, right?  I know it's a custom bellhousing and maybe input shaft and probably the flywheel as well.  But there's a lot of backyard engineers that could get that all figured out with the help of, say, the Fidanza customer service phone number.  Right?

Toyman01
Toyman01 GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
10/3/17 6:00 p.m.

Copying and pasting the text so it doesn't disappear into the nether world of Craigslist when the add is deleted or flagged.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"Don't need a 16k Paperweight? Of course you don't! How about an Italian money toilet!

Some of you may recognize this as a 2004 Maserati Coupe' (also known as the 4200 GT). Don't let that gorgeous Italian body fool you though, this car is Satan's chariot to Hell (or bankruptcy). 

I do not exaggerate when I say that this car has been in the shop HALF the time I have owned it. In the last 6 months, I have put ELEVEN THOUSAND DOLLARS into it in parts and labor and the thing still isn't right.

I'm not rich. I'm just an average dude that always wanted a Maserati. Since I was a kid I lusted after those Italian curves and exhaust note. Now my own kids come to me and ask me why there's no food to eat and the electricity has been turned off and I have to tell them it's because Daddy's car is sick again.

This car has a new clutch, new clutch actuator, position sensor, F1 pump and relay, gear selector switch (a 2k SWITCH) new tie rods and new tires. It has the miraculous F1 transmission. As in if it works, it is a miracle. It is also seemingly inhabited by evil spirits.

The voodoo priests at the Maserati dealer insist it's fixed. But it's not. And I've seen their facility. There's no tools, just an altar to Alejandro DeTomaso where they place the still beating hearts and smoking wallets of Maserati owners and ask for a vision of what the @#$$ is wrong with their clients' cars.

Come take a look at it! It's Beautiful! It WILL let you down. You might think that since I poured so much money into it, that there must just be one more thing and then it will be perfect. You can drive it home and laugh at the poor slob that you bought it from who did all the work for you. Nope. Not gonna happen. This car will make you cry.

So why am I asking 16 grand for it? Good question. I'm taking a HUGE loss at that price and that's the lowest price I can let it go for and still be able to pay my mortgage. If that's too much, don't buy it. I don't blame you.

Come look at it! Bring a witch doctor and maybe, just maybe, if the stars are aligned just right you can drive it. DO NOT DRIVE IT. If you drive it, you will want it. It is fast. It is beautiful. It makes a sound like angels revving their angelmobiles. 

I want this thing out of my sight. I'm tired of sitting in it at night drinking and making engine noises with my mouth while I pretend it is not a huge pile of disappointment and debt.

Do not offer me 5k for it. The Trident badge alone makes it worth more than that. I don't have to sell it. It can sit in my garage and I can continue to hate it. I don't HAVE to sell it. I WANT to. There's a difference."

nderwater
nderwater UltimaDork
10/3/17 6:54 p.m.

Ha! I just looked at a pair of these yesterday and actually wondered ‘how bad could the maintenance really be?’ Thanks, now I know.

einy
einy HalfDork
10/3/17 7:22 p.m.

Is there a Maserati anything that has worked for any appreciable amount of time?  Ever?

markwemple
markwemple UltraDork
10/3/17 7:37 p.m.

These are cheap Ferraris. So, if you think you can afford Ferrari maintenance but not the entry fee, here ya go!

markwemple
markwemple UltraDork
10/3/17 7:42 p.m.

Love that ad. It's an hour, or so, from me. Part of me wants to see it. Why, oh why.....

TiggerWelder
TiggerWelder Reader
10/5/17 8:04 a.m.

A friend has one of these that was given to him, really.  Glorious sounds, cool looks, gives me cold chills thinking about a breakdown!  Ill keep my C5, thank you very much!

Mike

oldrotarydriver
oldrotarydriver New Reader
10/5/17 12:27 p.m.

45 minutes from here.  I'm immune at the moment, seeing as I don't have a flat dry space to endlessly work on it.  ;-)

 

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