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snailmont5oh
snailmont5oh HalfDork
3/6/17 12:00 a.m.

They seem to be well maintained, and one would think that they would be fairly heavy duty. I'm thinking that one would look awesome towing my Fairmont to the track.

My wife, of course, is against the idea.

Hive thoughts?

Grizz
Grizz UltraDork
3/6/17 12:05 a.m.

Why didn't you buy one the second you had the thought?

RevRico
RevRico GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
3/6/17 12:09 a.m.

I've wanted one forever. If you can do it, go for it. The older the better.

snailmont5oh
snailmont5oh HalfDork
3/6/17 12:14 a.m.

Now that I've had the thought, I've got to find the right one. I saw a '93 Lincoln (probably a 4.6) for sale, but it'd probably be gutless compared to a '93 Cad (probably an LT1). Either one is old enough for me to work on, though. Do you think that they would have heavy-duty suspensions, extra coolers, and/or tow packages?

N Sperlo
N Sperlo MegaDork
3/6/17 12:14 a.m.

You've put in more thought than necessary. I'm disappointed.

old_
old_ HalfDork
3/6/17 12:26 a.m.

93 Cadillac would have the l05 350, lt1 was in the 94+ cars.

nutherjrfan
nutherjrfan Dork
3/6/17 12:44 a.m.

As for a wife I was always told forgiveness is easier sought than permission. But I've never even had a girlfriend so I'm probably very wrong. I still think you should just do it.

snailmont5oh
snailmont5oh HalfDork
3/6/17 1:47 a.m.

In reply to nutherjrfan:

If I had the disposable income to pull that off, then I'd probably already have one. The problem is, any hearse I'd try to by would involve her foreknowledge, if not her actual cooperation. :/

John Welsh
John Welsh MegaDork
3/6/17 2:03 a.m.

The Achilles heal of a hearse is the glass. To raise the roof, many elongate the glass meaning you then have a specialty windshield and specialty door glass. Often this glass is just flat out unavailable, custom only.

If possible, choose one where the roof metal is only raised leaving you with standard glass.

daeman
daeman Dork
3/6/17 3:44 a.m.

I worked with a guy who has his own little classic hearse and limo hire business. Speaking to him, he's of the opinion that both hearses and limos fall into one of two categories. Really well built, or really badly built. Says in his experience there's very rarely any middle ground.

Having being involved with doing a new fitout in a 70s Rolls Royce limo a few years back , I think maybe he's onto something. That car was an abortion..... Total waste of a rolls. The stretch job was so bodgy it was berkeleying scary.

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
3/6/17 7:06 a.m.

They get abbismal gas mileage. Single digits. But you don't care a about that.

spitfirebill
spitfirebill UltimaDork
3/6/17 7:07 a.m.

In a bit of irony, the finest mass murderer in the state of SC drove around in an old hearse.

dculberson
dculberson PowerDork
3/6/17 7:46 a.m.

Daeman's experience was similar to mine. But if you stick with one of the major coachbuilders you should be ok. (Superior, S&S, etc) I think most of the hearses aren't stretched they're built on a special chassis that the manufacturer provided to the coach builder. But there's plenty of welding for someone to do poorly on the floor pans and body.

The commercial glass can be tough to find but used its available. I had to drive two hours and pay $800 (installed) for a windshield but it worked out.

Appleseed, mine got about 10-11 mpg most days. I was a kid with a cool car and a Pontiac V8 so I didn't drive gently. But then again it was a standard wheelbase so the longer wheelbase cars might do single digits.

Woody
Woody GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
3/6/17 7:52 a.m.

What you really want is a Flower Car.

ValuePack
ValuePack SuperDork
3/6/17 8:24 a.m.

Marry a funeral director. My permission slip was signed the day I met her.

gearheadmb
gearheadmb Dork
3/6/17 8:28 a.m.

I worked on a cadillac hearse from the mid 2000s. I think it was a deville body, not sure though as im not into cadillacs, but what suprised the hell out of me was when i popped the center caps off the wheels it had eight wheel studs. They looked the same as regular caddy wheels. So yes, they are built extra heavy. I have no idea how many other mods are in one. That type of thing may make it tough to find brake and suspension parts. Its really kind of suprising because you would think they dont carry that much weight. Maybe two people upfront and the, uh, passenger in the back.

slefain
slefain PowerDork
3/6/17 8:46 a.m.

I was all about buying a hearse years ago until I went to a professional car society meetup. Once I mentioned that I wanted a hearse to cut up into a shop truck the vampires revolted. Suddenly I learned that every car was unique and hand built, and that parts are nigh impossible to get. Offers to help me find a hearse were all suddenly withdrawn.

So I bid the vampires adieu and gave up on my hearse shop truck idea.

But some awesome person did this, so I'm happy:

dculberson
dculberson PowerDork
3/6/17 9:04 a.m.

PCS is a good organization with good people but they are very much purists. They see the cars as works of art that need preserved, and modification is definitely heavily frowned upon. Even with a perfect all original hearse, they're not happy if your presentation is "morbid" at a show - ie, makeup, skulls, etc. Hearse specific parts can be very hard to find but mechanically they're all parts bin parts. It might take a little hunting to find the cross reference. My car was 100% Pontiac Bonneville mechanically, but body behind the cowl and interior had a lot of custom stuff.

Wall-e
Wall-e GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
3/6/17 9:13 a.m.

In reply to gearheadmb:

Caddy had a Professional Chassis Deville/DTS. I think the front drive hubs and othyer bits interchanged with the Suburbans if I remember correctly. I had to pick up a stolen one once and we used truck wheels to move it around the shop until we could get the heavy Caddy wheels.

cdowd
cdowd HalfDork
3/6/17 9:29 a.m.

In reply to Woody:

I was coming to say the same thing. I think a flower car would be an awesome pickup/El Camino alternative.

914Driver
914Driver MegaDork
3/6/17 9:48 a.m.

I always liked flower cars, but a hearse will keep your stuff drier and offer a little more room. You could camp in it.

Sky_Render
Sky_Render SuperDork
3/6/17 10:01 a.m.

1) What is a "flower car"? 2) I approve of modifying hearses, but only if the words "Bring Out Your Dead" are found somewhere on the finished product.

Brian
Brian MegaDork
3/6/17 10:17 a.m.

In reply to Sky_Render:

A Flower car has a truck bed for transporting floral arrangements to grave sites.

fasted58
fasted58 MegaDork
3/6/17 10:28 a.m.

Wouldn't these be more suited for towing and tool/ spares storage? Diesel too most likely.

Less morbid too.

D2W
D2W Reader
3/6/17 10:30 a.m.

Flower car is cool.

A shop close by me has a modified hearse. Lowered, custom paint, lake pipes. Next time I see it I will take a picture.

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