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Streetwiseguy
Streetwiseguy MegaDork
8/12/19 1:04 p.m.
jstein77 said:
Marjorie Suddard said:
dyintorace said:

It wasn't a huge concern for me. I didn't have a deposit from him and ended up selling the car last night to a friend of a friend who is thrilled to have a BMW wagon to work on. Worked out for the best all around!

Pretty sure it didn’t work out for James, and won’t as long as he’s in that marriage.

Margie

That's pretty harsh, Margie.  Maybe this dude has 34 cars in various states of disassembly scattered all around his house. cheeky

 

Have you caught her husbands act?  The woman is a saint, at least with regards to junk cars in the yard.

Floating Doc
Floating Doc GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
8/12/19 1:05 p.m.
jstein77 said:
Marjorie Suddard said:
dyintorace said:

It wasn't a huge concern for me. I didn't have a deposit from him and ended up selling the car last night to a friend of a friend who is thrilled to have a BMW wagon to work on. Worked out for the best all around!

Pretty sure it didn’t work out for James, and won’t as long as he’s in that marriage.

Margie

That's pretty harsh, Margie.  Maybe this dude has 34 cars in various states of disassembly scattered all around his house. cheeky

 

You say that like it's a bad thing!

Marjorie Suddard
Marjorie Suddard General Manager
8/12/19 1:16 p.m.

It's not the call the wife made (she may very well be the only thing keeping him from spending all the $ on projects), it's that they didn't work it out between themselves. That's bad news.

Margie

eastsideTim
eastsideTim UberDork
8/12/19 1:18 p.m.

Some people just can't handle money at all, and some spouses are just unfun, controlling jerks.  Can't make a judgment without more info.  I know of a couple that took a recent road trip - one of them spent most of the money they had with them on fireworks, and was going to buy more, to the point where they wouldn't have gas money to get back home.  If their significant other hadn't put their foot down, they'd have been stranded until they found someone willing to wire them money.

Floating Doc
Floating Doc GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
8/12/19 1:22 p.m.
Marjorie Suddard said:

It's not the call the wife made (she may very well be the only thing keeping him from spending all the $ on projects), it's that they didn't work it out between themselves. That's bad news.

Margie

Nailed it. I've often said that you should never lie to your spouse, your lawyer, or a judge. Communication is everything.

Edit: I left out that you shouldn't lie to your doctor. And while we're at it, don't lie to your veterinarian. I can usually tell.

californiamilleghia
californiamilleghia HalfDork
8/12/19 1:35 p.m.

I am an automotive social worker.....

I will not sell a car unless I have the wife and the ex-wife sign that it is OK that he buys this project car,

better if you can have the kids sign too :)

By signing you agree you may not see him many evenings but he will be in the garage  easy to find him and not at bar working  out his "problems"

No refunds ! 

 

Tyler H
Tyler H GRM+ Memberand UberDork
8/12/19 1:54 p.m.

Wow -- that was something, lol. 

As I general rule, I don't go through my wife's phone or purse....and I at least get tacit approval before dragging any cars home.  She almost always says yes, and the few times she said no, she was right.

Can't imagine having a relationship where my phone was subject to random appropriation, and I dang sure wouldn't ask someone to deliver a car unless I was sure I could survive the repercussions. 

Bullet dodged!  And start PMing me before you list random cool cars.  You know I'm a dependable buyer.  wink

 

dyintorace
dyintorace GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
8/12/19 2:09 p.m.

LOL. I definitely consider it a dodged bullet. I don’t want to have any part of that drama. 

This car would have been perfect for you!

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
8/12/19 4:19 p.m.
NickD said:
AngryCorvair said:

i would have put Bob Costas-whipped James' balls in a sling by replying:

"Suit yourself, but it was clearly stated that the $1000 deposit is NON-REFUNDABLE."

Yeah, you did make sure to state the deposit was non-refundable in writing, correct? I got caught out by that after some kid paid a deposit on a car I was selling and was going to pick it up the next weekend. I turned down a bunch of other prospective buyers during the week. Then the morning he's supposed to get it, his dad texts me and says they are coming to get the deposit back because he found his son a better car (a 1999 Grand Am with a Quad4, lol). I said "Nope, deposits are nonrefundable, you gave me a deposit to hold it until you could come pick it up, not a so that you could buy time to shop around." The father threatens to call the cops on me, so I do some digging and, yep, because I didn't put in writing that it was nonrefundable, I technically have to give it back. Then when the guy shows up to get the money he tries to act all buddy-buddy and says "No hard feelings, right?" I replied with "You threatened to call the cops on me, yes, there are hard feelings. And here, sign this paperwork saying I gave you your money back, so that you can't try to call them on me and say I never returned it."

I'd have told him to give me an extra hour to get the money. I'd then spend that hour getting $1,000 in nickles, dimes, and quarters from my bank. Then mix the change in as many dirty knee socks as nessesary. Have fun with that, E36 M3head.

jfryjfry
jfryjfry Dork
8/12/19 10:39 p.m.

That is a perfect reason why I would never go out of my way without a NONREFUNDABLE :) deposit large enough to make it worth my time to come back with the item still unsold. 

It takes no stretch of my imagination to imagine the buyer trying to haggle beyond reason when I arrive.  After all, they are out nothing and know that I am already significantly invested. 

californiamilleghia
californiamilleghia HalfDork
8/13/19 12:47 p.m.

option to purchase  for a limited time , 

many places will make you refund a deposit , 

 

egnorant
egnorant SuperDork
8/13/19 1:42 p.m.

My poor brother sprung something similar on his bride one day! They had been saving money for a driving trip from East Texas to my other brothers house in California. Proverbial trek to Wally World trip with kids and everything. 

Well, 5 weeks before the trip he finds a motherload, screaming deal for 6 cars, 5 trailer loads of parts and shop stuff. Guy wanted his barn and shop just cleaned out so it was all or nothing for the best price.  To get it he would need all his vacation money, some other funds that he had stashed and about a grand borrowed from me. Wife was PISSED, but the guy had his money and we had to go get the stuff.

3 days to move everything and create a huge mess in the barn, garage and yard. She would not even talk to either of us as we were just stupid and wasteful.

We got to work trying to turn it back into cash and succeeded by the middle of the 3rd week to break even. End of week 4 he had tripled his money and I had doubled mine. We had negotiated this part early so not problems. 

Wife had warmed a bit but was still out of the loop about how the money was going, but saw the mess going away and knew he was making a real effort and even some headway to fix this fiasco.

I got to watch when he sat her down and dropped the original amount saved for the vacation in front of her. She counted it and was happy about the vacation being still on, but gave us hell about being irresponsible and putting her through all this. He then told her "That pile is YOUR spending money...THIS (much larger) pile is for the vacation. Also dropped his spending money and gave me my share in front of her. 

Still have stuff from that deal and he has abused the right to drag home ANYTHING he wants.

 

Bruce

Antihero
Antihero GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
8/13/19 2:52 p.m.

My wife was excited to fly to Kentucky to pickup a rampage and drive it home.

I'm a lucky man

mtn
mtn MegaDork
8/13/19 3:05 p.m.
Antihero said:

My wife was excited to fly to Kentucky to pickup a rampage and drive it home.

I'm a lucky man

Yeah, I am too - my wife pretty much insisted that I buy a Miata a few years ago. And she made sure that I really knew what I was doing when I sold it. But do you know what? That all came after years of us being together, years of her learning what makes me happy, and years of my earning her trust as our financial manager, and years of me almost never telling her that we couldn't afford whatever her hobby was at the time - and often, my hobbies would take a back seat so she could do what she wanted. 

Oh, and she learned that I rarely lose money on these types of things. 

Antihero
Antihero GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
8/14/19 12:27 a.m.
mtn said:
Antihero said:

My wife was excited to fly to Kentucky to pickup a rampage and drive it home.

I'm a lucky man

Yeah, I am too - my wife pretty much insisted that I buy a Miata a few years ago. And she made sure that I really knew what I was doing when I sold it. But do you know what? That all came after years of us being together, years of her learning what makes me happy, and years of my earning her trust as our financial manager, and years of me almost never telling her that we couldn't afford whatever her hobby was at the time - and often, my hobbies would take a back seat so she could do what she wanted. 

Oh, and she learned that I rarely lose money on these types of things. 

Same here on the last bit, I have bought and sold a bunch of music gear over the years.

 

It helps that she plays sax too and that a good pro sax is several times challenge budget too lol

John Welsh
John Welsh Mod Squad
8/14/19 1:32 a.m.

In reply to Antihero :

My first thought is, "I've never paid for sax" but then I realize we all pay for it one way or another. 

mtn
mtn MegaDork
8/14/19 6:36 a.m.
Antihero said:
mtn said:
Antihero said:

My wife was excited to fly to Kentucky to pickup a rampage and drive it home.

I'm a lucky man

Yeah, I am too - my wife pretty much insisted that I buy a Miata a few years ago. And she made sure that I really knew what I was doing when I sold it. But do you know what? That all came after years of us being together, years of her learning what makes me happy, and years of my earning her trust as our financial manager, and years of me almost never telling her that we couldn't afford whatever her hobby was at the time - and often, my hobbies would take a back seat so she could do what she wanted. 

Oh, and she learned that I rarely lose money on these types of things. 

Same here on the last bit, I have bought and sold a bunch of music gear over the years.

 

It helps that she plays sax too and that a good pro sax is several times challenge budget too lol

LOL, same story here - by the time we'd been dating for 3 years - still 4 years before getting married - she'd been with me to at least 3 guitar shows, had come with me to random rural locales to buy another vintage guitar, and has a list of guitars she's mad at me for selling. 

Antihero
Antihero GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
8/14/19 9:49 a.m.
John Welsh said:

In reply to Antihero :

My first thought is, "I've never paid for sax" but then I realize we all pay for it one way or another. 

I see what you did there, and I approve.

 

She once was considering a bari sax. It was 12k....and wasn't top of the line at all.

 

So like yesterday when I drag home an Esquire tele and a Peavey mark iv for 400 bucks......that's not even decent beginner sax range.

Hell,most the cars I want are under bari sax range lol

Torkel
Torkel Reader
8/15/19 8:24 a.m.

This might not apply to this particular buyer, but:

I’m equally blown away each time I hear a buddy mention that “The Mrs won’t allow it”. If you are an adult, you take care of your family and your serious finances first. Then, you can play with what is left. 

And if you got that done and you are a good dad&partner, then... who the hell are they to tell you how to spend your spare time?? “No honey, I don’t want you to do creative and fun stuff in the garage (or at the track). I demand that you spend another soul crushingly pointless evening of in front of the TV with me”- was never said in any healthy relationship. 

Antihero
Antihero GRM+ Memberand SuperDork
8/15/19 10:07 a.m.
Torkel said:

This might not apply to this particular buyer, but:

I’m equally blown away each time I hear a buddy mention that “The Mrs won’t allow it”. If you are an adult, you take care of your family and your serious finances first. Then, you can play with what is left. 

And if you got that done and you are a good dad&partner, then... who the hell are they to tell you how to spend your spare time?? “No honey, I don’t want you to do creative and fun stuff in the garage (or at the track). I demand that you spend another soul crushingly pointless evening of in front of the TV with me”- was never said in any healthy relationship. 

This is true, but sadly a good portion of relationships are not healthy too

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