Saturday, March 5, 2011 10:57 PM EST
Man used fake penis for drug test
THE REPUBLICAN-AMERICAN
LITCHFIELD -- A Torrington man convicted on drug and burglary charges admitted Friday in Litchfield Superior Court that he fabricated evidence when he tried to use someone else's urine to pass a drug test.
Lewis Mazzochi, 35, of 101 Funston Ave., used a strap-on phallic device equipped to release a stream of urine when he provided a urine sample to the Office of Adult Probation. Prosecutors said Friday Mazzochi pushed on the device to release urine contained in a bag around his waist, but the trickery was caught by a probation officer monitoring a mirror on the ceiling of the bathroom.
The fabricating evidence charge prompted a violation of probation charge, which was combined with burglary and drug possession charges. For the combination of his offenses, under the terms of a plea agreement to avoid trial, Mazzochi will be sentenced to 10 years in prison when he returns to court May 10.
Oh yeah, the Whizzinator. Been helping NFL players be legit for years now. :D
EricM
Dork
3/7/11 9:49 a.m.
just get someone else piss and have it pushed into your bladder through a tube stuck in your dick.
EricM wrote:
just get someone else piss and have it pushed into your bladder through a tube stuck in your dick.
OIL CHANGES FOR EVERYONE!
-Thad Castle
Yeah but, how do you pour the fake juice into the cup with a nurse looking over your shoulder?
What kind of canoe come with the test?
alfadriver said:
A penis canoe???
I've seen a vagina kayak but not a penis canoe.
Apparently one has been made though - unfortunately the only pic of it I can find has a topless woman rowing it, so you'll have to find it yourself 
EricM said:
just get someone else piss and have it pushed into your bladder through a tube stuck in your dick.
That actually is the NFL way.
RevRico said:
EricM said:
just get someone else piss and have it pushed into your bladder through a tube stuck in your dick.
That actually is the NFL way.
He sends you to hospital for a piss test, you send two of his to the morgue with CTE. THAT'S THE NFL WAY!
Definitely used to use caths to beat NCAA test back in the last 90s when "red" was called as the test subject group
soap94
New Reader
3/25/19 10:09 a.m.
Can it be used in a canoe?
In reply to Appleseed :
I think so... but only in Canada
I had a prospective employee try this once.
The fact that it was 106*F was what tipped the tech off. I didn't ask what he had kept it in.
He didn't get the job.
sleepyhead said:
In reply to Appleseed :
I think so... but only in Canada
Fun fact. To Australians, a kayak is a canoe. A canoe is a "Canadian canoe".
In reply to Keith Tanner :
it's like the boating equivalent of "hatchback"
Or the Canadian equivalent of bacon.
All this genital and canoe talk and not one mention of a man in a boat.
Haha, he is very ingenious. That's something new :D However, he got busted, [just like I did, paddling my canoe!]
mtn
MegaDork
2/17/20 11:22 a.m.
Still funny, 9 years later. Guy only has 1 year left, assuming he wasn't let out on probation already!
