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johndej
johndej Dork
4/1/21 6:03 p.m.

barefootskater (Shaun)
barefootskater (Shaun) PowerDork
4/1/21 6:56 p.m.

"Wife's boob popped last week. I had to pay $9000 for a new tit."

Tile guy at a job site last week. 

SVreX (Forum Supporter)
SVreX (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
4/10/21 11:20 a.m.

"I wish it would rain already.  Then I wouldn't have to feel guilty about taking a nap."

-My wife, as she settles in on the couch (today is overcast, but not raining)

NickD
NickD MegaDork
4/10/21 2:52 p.m.

"Good men mean well. We just don't always do well." - Isaac Clarke

NickD
NickD MegaDork
4/21/21 12:49 p.m.

Coworker: "There's a trick to getting these two-piece rear main seals not to leak."

Me: "Yeah, it's called 'Don't play with these old pieces of E36 M3'"

 

NickD
NickD MegaDork
4/21/21 12:51 p.m.

Me: "Hey, Dave, the back of the exhaust on your truck is missing."

Coworker Dave: "I have an exhaust for this truck, but it's for a shortbed." (Truck in question is a longbed)

Me: "Sooo, you don't have an exhaust for this truck"

akamcfly
akamcfly Dork
4/22/21 5:34 a.m.

"Because sometimes... a man's gotta moisturize" my co-worker Biker Steve working goop into his Betty Page tattoo.

Daylan C
Daylan C GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
6/2/21 6:07 p.m.

"You see? This is what happens when I come to work sober!"

Says the man mopping up an unreasonably large flood from the overflowing CNC mill coolant tanks. 

Brett_Murphy
Brett_Murphy GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
6/4/21 3:41 p.m.

"I kept my foot in it, though. You want me over you throw those stop sticks."  - Anonymous GRM individual

Appleseed
Appleseed MegaDork
6/4/21 5:01 p.m.

The left lane is for CRIME!

PMRacing
PMRacing GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
6/10/21 7:18 a.m.

I have two. One is in my signature. The other I just came up with.

"I'm going to start asking people to use uncommon sense. Common sense hasn't been working too well."

NickD
NickD MegaDork
6/11/21 7:18 a.m.

"Stand amongst the ashes of a trillion dead souls, and ask the ghosts if honor matters. The silence is your answer."

NickD
NickD MegaDork
6/18/21 11:22 a.m.

Me: I really want an RX-8 lately. Is there something wrong with me?

My friend Chris: Yes. But also no.

SVreX (Forum Supporter)
SVreX (Forum Supporter) MegaDork
6/26/21 8:04 a.m.

My wife: "I always thought Kristen had more than 6 kids, but I guess it just that they're all so darned tall"

(My wife is 5'0")

Daylan C
Daylan C GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
6/27/21 9:29 p.m.

"It still weirds me out that there is a hearse in my grid..."

-Adam Jabaay

Pete. (l33t FS)
Pete. (l33t FS) GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
6/29/21 6:41 p.m.

"We're only seeing the tip of the iceberg."

"Which, on the bright side, is better than iceberg detection through a boatlike crunching sound."

Pete. (l33t FS)
Pete. (l33t FS) GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
7/22/21 1:42 p.m.

 

After detractors told him to make it sweeter or use a tomato base because it won't sell, Americans won't buy hot sauces:

"Hot sauce must be hot.  If you don't like it hot, use less.  We don't make mayonnaise here."

 

 

NickD
NickD MegaDork
7/27/21 7:05 a.m.

"Hope this customer likes barbeque, because their engine is smoked." - Me, delivering my diagnosis of one dead 2.4L Ecotec.

Beer Baron
Beer Baron MegaDork
7/27/21 8:36 a.m.

"Do you know whose problem that isn't?"

-My saying, that has become a favorite of a coworker's. Frequently used when discussing other people doing stupid things to make their personal lives difficult.

NickD
NickD MegaDork
8/2/21 3:47 p.m.

"Oh, you'll know her. She's got a face like Skeletor and a voice like Sam Elliott."

NickD
NickD MegaDork
8/3/21 10:05 a.m.

Javik: The Synril claimed to have found the path to eternal peace.

Garrus Vakarian: What happened?

Javik: The Ditakur preferred war and wiped them out.

Turbo_Rev
Turbo_Rev New Reader
8/3/21 1:06 p.m.

"These things don't work because the crossed fingers are tightened to spec."

NickD
NickD MegaDork
8/29/21 12:27 p.m.

"Beware the voices of sensible men who sing almost in tune and know all the words."

toonarmy
toonarmy New Reader
8/30/21 6:10 p.m.

"I just tested negative for sympathy."

Daylan C
Daylan C GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
9/4/21 9:59 p.m.

"We got haters and we don't even have an episode out yet. I call that a win."

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