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jh36
jh36 GRM+ Memberand Dork
6/12/22 4:38 p.m.

Hoping the OP is doing ok...Speedway, what's the latest?

RX Reven'
RX Reven' GRM+ Memberand UltraDork
6/12/22 7:11 p.m.

Many things occurred to me but here's my top three...

1.  You're not going to die in your teens...stop treating your body like it's a rental.

2.  It's far better to be alone than to be in a marginal relationship...accept nothing less than exceptional character.

3.  Math is your passion and it will serve you well...terrify yourself with lofty goals.

Added later...

Health, relationship, career...in that order.

 

 

 

Pete Gossett (Forum Supporter)
Pete Gossett (Forum Supporter) GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
6/12/22 7:14 p.m.

Your self-worth is not determined by what others say or think. 

jh36
jh36 GRM+ Memberand Dork
6/12/22 9:03 p.m.
Pete Gossett (Forum Supporter) said:

Your self-worth is not determined by what others say or think. 

Amen. Good one. 

Brett_Murphy (Agent of Chaos)
Brett_Murphy (Agent of Chaos) GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
6/12/22 10:28 p.m.

It might seem like all doom and gloom, including some of the advice we're giving.

Enjoy life. Work hard enough to reach your goals, put aside money for trips and fun things- then take the trips and do the fun things. 

Experiences will matter more than having the latest and greatest toys, unless those toys are how you get your experiences (eg. Track car, fishing boat, etc.)

Antihero
Antihero GRM+ Memberand PowerDork
6/12/22 10:42 p.m.
Pete Gossett (Forum Supporter) said:

Your self-worth is not determined by what others say or think. 

But what if people say and think I'm ridiculously awesome? Lol.

 

In all seriousness this is good advice for anyone

 

 

mtn
mtn MegaDork
7/18/22 4:57 p.m.

She's hitting on you, you idiot. 

Pete. (l33t FS)
Pete. (l33t FS) GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
7/18/22 6:09 p.m.
mtn said:

She's hitting on you, you idiot. 

What is "Thing every guy wished they could say to their past selves"?

Byrneon27
Byrneon27 Reader
7/19/22 6:40 p.m.

Today my answer is "how it was all going to turn out because it never would have gone this far" 

Other day's answers might be: 

Four loco or any combination of alcohol and stimulants are bad. 

She's definitely flirting with you

You're a berkeleying weirdo... All THE BEST people are weirdos.

One day you'll realize you're buying Red Bull and cigarettes from the people who have it all right now and that's an eye opener 

I'm not a mental health professional lord knows despite personal experience I'm not qualified but you sound like you have some issues beyond normal "everybody's late teens sucks" stuff going on, you should seek help and I promise you it's an emergency if you can't get help elsewhere cart yourself to an emergency room that's what they're there for. 

Parents always make this worse, I like most people have/had two, one a ludicrously successful insurance salesman who failed to acknowledge my existence until it was determined I had some earning power and a single Irish woman who managed large scale construction projects for the better part of my life. Warmth is something I never experienced. I didn't receive a hug that didn't feel forced until my late teens and I'll tell ya that's a strange day. Mentioning to my mother that I thought I had mental health problems resulted in a great deal of shouting, being referred to as a homo and a baby, and a pretty long diatribe about how money would not be wasted on me and my imaginary problems. Please understand it's not a contest I'm not saying or suggesting anybody has it worse but if you're encountering a road block it's not uncommon. 

 

Making friends in high school... No idea never did it. I do have the capacity to command an audience and make people laugh. Sounds like you might have the same gift... Embrace it, test it out. 

 

I sincerely hope you get help, I hope it works for you, I hope you know there's a whole group of people here pulling for you any of us will happily help/talk/listen. If you're anywhere near south central PA and you want to wrench/weld/whatever legal and appropriate activity your feelings out get in touch. 

If help or progress is slow to come please understand that this is the best and worst type of character building you can experience. The resilience you'll develop, the problem solving skills, the self reliance don't let it make you too hard and certainly do not let it make you mean but pulling yourself out the other side of a depression is the single biggest accomplishment a person can make. 

If nothing can make you feel worse than you already do there's absolutely no reason not to try... This is not a healthy mantra but it's gotten me through some unimaginably dark times.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wally (Forum Supporter)
Wally (Forum Supporter) GRM+ Memberand MegaDork
7/19/22 7:15 p.m.

1- How unimportant so many things are.  I spent a lot of time worrying about things that didn't matter, time I could have spent on things I enjoyed.

2- Don't be too proud to ask for help.  Be it in school, at home or work, or for physical or mental treatment.  Being "tough" and sucking things up isn't going to impress anyone that really cares about you, and learning how to do something early on will make many things much smoother in the long run.

3- Be comfortable with who you are.  For the first 30 years of my life I put a lot of effort into fitting in with how the people around me acted and tried to be "normal".  I really didn't enjoy it much and missed out on a lot of opportunities.  Once I got over that barrier I made a bunch of fun friends and saw so many things I never knew were out there.

4- Never stop learning.  Not just in a classroom setting but anything that interests you.  Read, listen to podcasts, any way you can absorb the information you want to have.

5- Don't be afraid to be bad at something if you enjoy it. This was incredibly freeing.  Obviously there are some limits, like amateur surgery and such, but the worst painter or sculptor or racecar driver is having more fun than the one that's wishing they could try it. 

6- Talk to people that are different than you.  One thing my dad instilled in me as a kid and made sure I did was put me into social situations with people of many backgrounds.  He encouraged me to learn about them and ask questions and answer any they asked.  You won't agree with all of them and should agree with any of them all the time but you will get a feel for why they think how they do and occasionally learn a bit about yourself and change some of your own opinions.   

 

I wish I had known most of this when I was younger, I wouldn't have had many of the issues that I'm working through now or maybe had better ways to deal with them. 

stroker
stroker PowerDork
7/29/22 11:02 a.m.

I don't know how I missed this thread.  I have a daughter entering high school and another entering middle school this fall.  In reference to the OP--I wish I had tried to know more about myself as compared to the full spectrum of personalities.  Take some personality tests (e.g. Big Five, Briggs-Meyers, etc.) for a rough idea of where you fall.  I went through high school figuring that I was "average" when in fact I was WAY outside the statistical norm.  Second, I'd think very hard and very seriously about what I want to do with my life.  Career objectives?  Kids?  Marriage?  Don't take anything as assumed-if you think it's something you want to do, ask yourself why you're interested in it.  Compare that to your personality test results.  Do they make sense?  Align?  If not, then you've got some potential problems or, possibly, opportunities.  Third, appreciate the friends you make in high school.  In my case, my best friend turned out to be my best long term and arguably the most valuable friend I ever made.  If you find yourself not building significant and valuable relationships, I would regard that as a cause for concern or a missed opportunity.  You might do so later, but the transition from childhood to adulthood is something best shared, IMHO.  Fourth, I wish I'd tried to look at my parents through a more objective lens--not as my parents but as people.  It would have helped, in my case.  Ask yourself, if you knew you were never going to see your parents again, what issues you'd want to reconcile or thank them for having been there for you.  I know that last one is asking a lot of a kid, but losing your parents closes that opportunity forever.  You can't open that door again and I don't know anyone who doesn't wish they could have one last conversation with their parents.

I'd recommend reading "12 Rules for Life", too.  

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