Dear aircraft passengers,

4cylndrfury wrote: Im really trying to talk Missus 4CF into a train ride somewhere far just for fun. She doesnt see the glamor of it.

I traveled Amtrak from Grand Rapids, Michigan to Chicago and felt the same way as my son that takes it back to Holland, Michigan for College.

Aaah the glorious sites.....I noticed a lot of people throw their crap by the tracks since they have railroad tracks in their backyards and are a little unhappy about it. Crappy old boat......park it in the back of my lot near the tracks. You also get to see a lot of the Gary, Indiana steel mills.

Dear passengers: Bomb. Jihad. Infidels.

that is all. have a nice day.

Yell all you want about dying. I will casually glance up from my issue of GRM, mention I am in the Air Force, and that he is full of it. Due to my confident nature, strikingly handsome profile, and slight knowledge of aviation, they will believe me. done right, I get a free scotch out of the deal.

That being said, if I can get there in 14 hours or less, I drive.

Zomby woof wrote: Dear fellow passengers, can you please not break into applause as soon as the plane's wheels touch the ground? He's a pilot, not an artist (and we're sttill moving, and capable of crashing).

I already know which budget Canadian airline you're complaining about. I'm convinced that 99% of its clients are spoon-fed numptys who have never travelled before and are completely clueless about every facet of life outside their suburban hidey-holes. They always clap.

BTW flight #41 on Saturday was scheduled for 11:00 AM and eventually left at 5:00 PM. The reason? The flight was overbooked so they flew the plane back and did a second trip to carry the 20-or-so last passengers to check in. I got to ride in a nearly empty Fokker F-100.

Clapping during a landing? I've never been present for that behaviour.

Sounds as stupid as clapping at a movie.

Shawn

Trans_Maro wrote: Clapping during a landing? I've never been present for that behaviour. Sounds as stupid as clapping at a movie. Shawn

I got the clap during a movie once. I notice they don't have balconies at the theater anymore. What were we talking about again?

Clapping for a landing is only acceptable when weather conditions or mechanical issues (ie lack of landing gear) make the transition back to earth something spectacular. Sully's landing on the Hudson deserved an ovation after everyone got out for example.

Least favorite thing: less than 1/3 of my flights in the past two years have both gotten me where I was going when expected and given me all my luggage when I got there.

Big deal, I can land a plane in a river.

I don't know how many of us would be left though. Probably between zero and one.

Shawn

You guys are not helping me here. I have to fly to a very small Caribbean island next month. Several different airlines none you would regognize, and not famous for customer service. Arrgghh.

I had a fun experience in the Caribbean on a taxi.. Something tells me the driver should at the very least be drinking a bit less than the passengers during a drive through the winding mountain roads that had caution tape instead of guard rails... Planes no problem though, despite the one 14 hour delay.

I gave up carrying luggage YEARS ago. If I have to fly, I make damn sure everything I own fits in either my laptop bag, or my one allowed carryon (since laptop bags count as purses, and if they REALLY wanna argue, I'll start carrying eye shadow). If I HAVE to carry a suitcase, which is only when I fly to my parents, I fedex it beforehand. berkeley baggage claim.

I heard a good comedian recently that told this joke:

" Whenever I'm in a plane and some bratty kid is kicking the seat behind me constantly I'll just turn around and tell his parents.......Look, if we are in a crash and survive, I'm eating your kid! "

On the last flight we were on, I was acutely aware of the shiny happy person who coughed through most of the flight.

My wife and I got LEVELED with his flu for a week.

Jay wrote:

Zomby woof wrote: Dear fellow passengers, can you please not break into applause as soon as the plane's wheels touch the ground? He's a pilot, not an artist (and we're sttill moving, and capable of crashing).

I already know which budget Canadian airline you're complaining about. I'm convinced that 99% of its clients are spoon-fed numptys who have never travelled before and are completely clueless about every facet of life outside their suburban hidey-holes. They always clap.

Which airline?

While I don't fly a lot, every single flight I've been on in the last 10 years, they've done that. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks it's stupid.

On my last flight, upon landing, the girl seated beside me filled 2 vomit bags, right after she finished clapping.

cwh wrote: You guys are not helping me here. I have to fly to a very small Caribbean island next month. Several different airlines none you would regognize, and not famous for customer service. Arrgghh.

Don't worry. They have a strict 8 minute "bottle to throttle" policy.

No one clapped on Southwest last time...

We'll see about this time. I usually just breathe a big sigh of relief for still being alive.

Watch from 2:30 on... SFW, Louis CK on Conan

+1 to everything so far. I will add:

Yes, you have a seat number but there is no law that says that you MUST sit in THAT seat. If the lady wants to sit next to her husband, why do you care which aisle seat you are in when flying alone? And sure the exit row is nice, but you are 5' 6" and the 6' 10" guy in the row behind you would really appreciate a switch. And when the family headed to Disney is trying to get on the shuttle, how about helping them load a bag or baby seat instead of shoving past them and grabbing a seat you selfish bastard!

Giant Purple Snorklewacker wrote: Watch from 2:30 on... SFW, Louis CK on Conan

that guy is pretty funny.....I was quite good at dialing rotary phones back in the 1970's.......my dad still has rotary service today.

I will volunteer to sit in the Emergency exit seat. I am not a tall buff guy but I most likely am more dependable in an emergeny than the 16 year old that was assigned there.

While I am on that subject, the TSA knows everything about ME when I reserve my flight. I am sure they know the same about the passenger in the exit seat. Why the hell can't you put the 16 year old, the mother traveling with an infant, or the octogenarian somewhere else not as critical if it turns into a goat berkeley?

GOAT berkeley? Man, that mile high club is getting outta hand.

Zomby woof wrote: Which airline? While I don't fly a lot, every single flight I've been on in the last 10 years, they've done that. I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks it's stupid. On my last flight, upon landing, the girl seated beside me filled 2 vomit bags, right after she finished clapping.

TransAt? I fly their Hamburg->Toronto run a couple times a year. Everyone claps, and I wince.

Nobody does that here in Asia or in Europe from what I can tell. Except dumb Canadians on holiday.

pinchvalve wrote: +1 to everything so far. I will add: Yes, you have a seat number but there is no law that says that you MUST sit in THAT seat.

Getting up and moving is fine but they do use the seat number to help identify your charred remains after the crash.

Trans_Maro wrote:

pinchvalve wrote: +1 to everything so far. I will add: Yes, you have a seat number but there is no law that says that you MUST sit in THAT seat.

Getting up and moving is fine but they do use the seat number to help identify your charred remains after the crash.

Oh, man, in about 85 I was flying into Minneapolis, connecting to Milwaukee with a guy I worked with. We were in different rows, so since the flight was not full I went up and sat with him. Getting to the end of the flight, i moved back to my assigned seat to get my stuff, but as I left, I said, "I'm gonna go strap into my seat so they can identify my body from the seat number."

I didn't realize he was deathly afraid of flying. He drove home from Milwaukee.

Trans_Maro wrote:

pinchvalve wrote: +1 to everything so far. I will add: Yes, you have a seat number but there is no law that says that you MUST sit in THAT seat.

Getting up and moving is fine but they do use the seat number to help identify your charred remains after the crash.

I'll be easy to pick out, I'll be the one that kept burning after all the fuel was gone