I am an unsentimental @ss....

My wifes mad at me again. You see I not only have car ADD, I have it with just about everything I want. 10 months ago for my birthday it was a new camcorder.

Since I just usually buy whatever I want I know shopping for me is a whole PITA. Just to make it easy on my wife for my birthday I told her which one I wanted and who even had the best price on it.

Then after only using it 3 times in those 10 months - I listed it on Ebay this morning. When I told my wife she blew up on me. Evidently, since it was a present I am obligated to hold on to it 'til I die.

I must admit this isn't the first time I've sold a present she's gotten me. I can't help it, when I look at the stuff I don't use anymore I see dollar signs - this is how I fund other later unwanted purchases. I would rather get some money for this stuff then to let it sit and collect dust.

Funny how she's never complained when the extra money comes in handy for fun weekend away though. Personally I think she should be happy I don't have wife ADD.

Marty! said: Personally I think she should be happy I don't have wife ADD.

You should explain it to her this way!

Rule 1: Don't discuss eBay sales and purchases with your wife. (Seriously, though, my wife doesn't care.)

Preface to rule 1: The less she knows, the better off everybody will be.

Meh, something else is going on under the surface. She's upset about something but it's manifesting itself into the camera sale. Any other recent blow ups?

I sold a stereo receiver years ago to fund home theater upgrades. My wife gave me the stink eye and the cold shoulder for a while. It was an anniversary gift....oops! I didn't tell her that I may not have sold it if I remembered it was an anniversary gift

Mama didn't raise no dummy.

A friend would only ask his ex so he could know how guilty he should feel. If only he were inclined to feel guilty.

Yes, ex.

zomby woof wrote: Preface to rule 1: The less she knows, the better off everybody will be.

This.

The now wife has no idea how much it took to build the S52 E30 before i parted, and she will NEVER know.

this is why I tell people not buy me things. Short of gift cards to restaurants or things like that, I'm going to be bored with whatever I get very quickly, if I even wanted it in the first place.

You're new at this aren't you?

Just have her buy you good booze or some other item that you know will be consumed and the waste packaging chucked.

zomby woof wrote: Preface to rule 1: The less she knows, the better off everybody will be.

Preface to the preface to rule #1: If the topic comes up, don't respond...it's really just a test of ones marriage's strength. or maybe one's hearing.

I ask my in-laws/s-i-law for tools or just oil or armor all kits. They get all nutty; "wouldn't you like a nice new shirt like "brother-in-law?" No.

So they all give me a shirt.

Me: "I don't like it, can I return it?"

Them: "Why? It looks nice on you."

Me: "I really don't wear this style."

Next day. Me hangs it in the back of the closet for 5 years.

Good news is after 24 years together they all now give me cash. What a great family!

I am of the opinion that less communication never leads to better communication. If you are of a mind to figure out why she's really mad then you have to look deeper into the events leading up to the "blow up". My gut says she has an underlying fear that you are not truly taking her feelings into account on another, more important (to her) issue.

EastCoastMojo wrote: I am of the opinion that less communication never leads to better communication. If you are of a mind to figure out why she's really mad then you have to look deeper into the events leading up to the "blow up". My gut says she has an underlying fear that you are not truly taking her feelings into account on another, more important (to her) issue.

it can really be a problem

Yeah, none of us are perfect, but Marty did seem to be reaching out for help/advice so I try. Odds are even higher that this will happen again if nothing is ventured.

ya, you're probably right.... that's kinda what I meant about both sides not doing the communication bit... to generalize ... most of us guys don't speak up about what's bothering us nor do we ask what's bothering or SO...

After some communication about this ECM has gotten it partly right. Part is that I don't take her feelings into account and tend to act somewhat selfishly.

I do admit that I tend to act on my own free will and have been working on that for the 9 years we been together (it's getting better I promise!).

Other part is that I sold something that was originally pretty pricey and that in itself was another rub. We always agreed to talk to each other when a somewhat significant amount of money is involved, and that I failed to do.

All is well again and if I play my cards right I should have enough to buy some new wheels in the near future (of course I'll probably be selling those in about six months).

OK, so the real question here is, what wheels are you thinking about?

EastCoastMojo wrote: OK, so the real question here is, what wheels are you thinking about?

ECM, you forgot to remind Marty that his wife has endured his behavior for nine years. He may be "getting better" but his wife deserves at least half the credit.

I am positive that Marty's wife has already reminded him of all that nonsense.

Marty! wrote: All is well again and if I play my cards right I should have sex again in six months).

Thats how I read it.

I stay interested in the same thing for a looong time. Miatas, the camera is the same I've had for a few years. I don't tend to buy new until I wear out the old one. I had the same escort for 11 years! Also, I don't tend to like aftermarket wheels and add ons to a car, as what looks cool now tends to look dated soon (supra wings and three spoke wheels anyone?)

Joey

joey48442 wrote: I had the same escort for 11 years!

She must have gotten pretty expensive.

My wife is usually fairly tolerant of my purchases, particularly the photography related ones. However, when it comes to car related spending, she tends to lump together the discretionary and necessary purchases.

A few months ago, I heard "So we don't have the money to replace our (very tired) mattress, but you have money to buy car parts!?!" I gave up after the 5th time telling her "I bought replacement brushes for the starter in my DD, so that I don't have to get people to help me push start it, and they cost $17, not several hundred dollars."