Well, last night I put money down on a ring, will pay it off when I go pick it up...FRIDAY (tomorrow).
Im doing the dang thing. It's been about 20/21 months we've been together and this is it.
Next week Im driving us up to DC in the MR2 ( :) ). She thinks we're going to check on my best friend going through some stuff personally and then a little sight seeing...and we will.
But we'll also go to a place Ive not been before - Teddy Roosevelt Island. I LOVE TR! Im doing it there, I think.
WOW.
Committing to go from mine and hers to "ours" is a big deal. Congrats.
We've decided (eh, I have decided) that we'll live at my house. Sorry, but I bought this house because of garage...I love my garage, and she doesnt have much of a garage (one bay...).
Part out thread?
David's rule of diamonds: Big, mediocre quality rocks are better than small, perfect ones. Gals only notice size (yes, there's a joke in there).
I would be very prepared to have an in-depth conversation with regards to where you both would plan to live. How you feel about your garage maybe how she feels about her kitchen or master bath.
It's a lot easier to rent space that works as a garage that may not be the most convenient then it is to rent space as a kitchen as that's never convenient. Having to travel 6 miles to make breakfast or dinner simply doesn't work.
In addition it's not always the case but is often the case that when partners move in together, if one person had previously lived there it always feels like the space is more there's, than ours. Expect to be finding a new space for each to each of you that likely has features and spaces that you each love for different reasons.
I know you already bought the ring but for future reference.
have a jeweler that I used for my wife's ring. He makes the ring to your liking and with whatever stones you'd want. I picked yellow diamonds and I paid SIGNIFICANTLY less than I would've if bought from a store. I had it appraised for insurance and it's insured for at least twice as much as I paid!
We went several places, she found an estate dealer, so the one she's ending up with, which was her favorite, was a used item.
1.2 main, another 1.3 in other. Main is a little yellow, it's a vintage style ring - she loves it.
And it was hundreds less than anything else she liked
ddavidv said:David's rule of diamonds: Big, mediocre quality rocks are better than small, perfect ones. Gals only notice size (yes, there's a joke in there).
z31maniac's rules of diamonds: Spending a bunch of money on an artificially inflated product from the DeBeers cartel is silly.
hybridmomentspass said:We went several places, she found an estate dealer, so the one she's ending up with, which was her favorite, was a used item.
1.2 main, another 1.3 in other. Main is a little yellow, it's a vintage style ring - she loves it.
And it was hundreds less than anything else she liked
And that's all that matters, congrats!
z31maniac said:ddavidv said:David's rule of diamonds: Big, mediocre quality rocks are better than small, perfect ones. Gals only notice size (yes, there's a joke in there).
z31maniac's rules of diamonds: Spending a bunch of money on an artificially inflated product from the DeBeers cartel is silly.
While I fundamentally agree with you, it is actually more analogous to a fiat currency:
If it is genuinely valuable to her, it is valuable in your relationship, regardless of any inherent value (or lack thereof).
Best wishes to you, HMP.
Duke said:z31maniac said:ddavidv said:David's rule of diamonds: Big, mediocre quality rocks are better than small, perfect ones. Gals only notice size (yes, there's a joke in there).
z31maniac's rules of diamonds: Spending a bunch of money on an artificially inflated product from the DeBeers cartel is silly.
While I fundamentally agree with you, it is actually more analogous to a fiat currency:
If it is genuinely valuable to her, it is valuable in your relationship, regardless of any inherent value (or lack thereof).
Best wishes to you, HMP.
I agree. It isn't about how much you spend but the actual value you put into it. I wanted something that I could give her that I felt matches what I see in her. I could've gotten her a ring from Walmart and she would've been just as happy. Either way, at the end of the day, it's the value you get personally.
captdownshift (Forum Supporter) said:I would be very prepared to have an in-depth conversation with regards to where you both would plan to live. How you feel about your garage maybe how she feels about her kitchen or master bath.
It's a lot easier to rent space that works as a garage that may not be the most convenient then it is to rent space as a kitchen as that's never convenient. Having to travel 6 miles to make breakfast or dinner simply doesn't work.
In addition it's not always the case but is often the case that when partners move in together, if one person had previously lived there it always feels like the space is more there's, than ours. Expect to be finding a new space for each to each of you that likely has features and spaces that you each love for different reasons.
You need to stop this charade. You are clearly a woman masquerading as a man.
In reply to 1988RedT2 :
Lol
ddavidv said:Gals only notice size (yes, there's a joke in there).
Just tell her there's a shortage of everything right now...
hybridmomentspass said:We went several places, she found an estate dealer, so the one she's ending up with, which was her favorite, was a used item.
1.2 main, another 1.3 in other. Main is a little yellow, it's a vintage style ring - she loves it.
And it was hundreds less than anything else she liked
That's the way to do it. Get her involved in the decision because she's going to be wearing it for a long time. My wife got to pick out her engagement ring - we used her choice a gem I'd inherited from my grandfather (I think he may have actually cut it) and had it mounted in a setting she liked. So it's got a lot more meaning than something that I bought from a mall jewelry store, hoping I'd picked something she liked.
And congratulations, by the way!
In reply to 1988RedT2 :
"Captain" is a gender neutral title.
dculberson said:In reply to 1988RedT2 :
"Captain" is a gender neutral title.
So, you agree with my assessment.
1988RedT2 said:dculberson said:In reply to 1988RedT2 :
"Captain" is a gender neutral title.
So, you agree with my assessment.
I don't.
I'm not really sure why the Captain has to "be" one thing or another.
Good to get that first wife out of the way early! (I kid, congratulations)
I got my wife involved in her ring in a different sort of way and I totally agree it's the best way to do things.
My now wife was passive aggressively showing me rings she likes, she hates diamonds and absolutely loves sapphires. She came across a ring that she absolutely loved and shows it to me, it's "sweepy" and 10k gold which she loves. I laughed when she showed it to me and when she asked why I laughed I told her she'd find out one day.
See, the ring she showed me was the exact ring my mom wore nearly her whole life, she bought it when she was 16 with one of her first jobs and wore it until her death. Me and my dad found it and I gave it to her in the least special way I could so she would be surprised.
Her family is pretty material and kinda snickered because I didn't give her a diamond but.....real star sapphires are substantially more rare than every diamond ever too so screw them lol
Congrats Hybridmomentspass!
Congratulations! Sounds like you probably have a cool event planned for popping the question?
Sent you a PM with a book my wife (LPC) recommends to all newly-weds.
+1 on the mutual housing decision thing. I moved into my wife's house after we got married and there was a subtle theme of "everything is where it is for a reason." I'm not much into decorating, but anything I wanted to change was a subtle "I don't like what you've done here". YMMV.
Duke said:1988RedT2 said:dculberson said:In reply to 1988RedT2 :
"Captain" is a gender neutral title.
So, you agree with my assessment.
I don't.
I'm not really sure why the Captain has to "be" one thing or another.
Exactly, I'd far rather be shopping at a BB&B than watching some lame a$$ sports ball thing.
I don't give a rip, I'm 57 and I couldn't care less what anybody thinks - get off my lawn.
P3PPY said:Congratulations! Sounds like you probably have a cool event planned for popping the question?
Yeah, we'll be on a little hike on vacation in DC. That night, who knows what we'll do.
I'll try to get a pic of her with the car afterwards ha
Congratulations!
I'm all in favor of making sure the ring is what she wants over buying the ring as a complete surprise. Buying a ring for a surprise proposal when you have no idea if she'd accept just seems like quite a risk, so you might as well involve her in picking out the ring.
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